-) living on the edge with destiny (-

... my dear friend forever, when I read your letters I get the shivers, and when you talk about me I feel pleasantly x-rayed, believe me you are fantastic, you have analyzed and captured in synthesis the behavioural model that I usually assume—in front of your words I feel naked and defenceless—I can only compliment you. You are a very sweet and uniquely sensitive person, how can I, who am unfortunately surrounded by ugly and indecent experiences and have become by now hostile and suspicious, yet still willing and restless, find the right balance between total refusal and its complete antithesis. Very often I think about our eventual meeting but then the fear of the consequences forces me to close the door to my heart, and if I leave a crack open, my own fragility causes me to be immediately sorry, my heart breaks in two, and I feel ashamed without any reason. I am cruel with myself, this I know, perhaps I need to expiate my past faults, even when I set a limit to my words, I still feel unsure probably because I am afraid of disappointing you. I don't know! Here I go putting up my defences again, maybe I've learned too well from the world how not to give myself easily, not to go beyond, and how to be afraid of taking flight. Perhaps I didn't learn but it was already written inside of me!
After my brother's birth my mother absolutely wanted a daughter, a girl, and instead I was born, an ugly toad, but she didn't let that stop her and she raised me more or less as though she actually had a girl. I arrived at nursery school and later at elementary school in a state of total confusion both sentimental and behavioural. Many times I was ridiculed by my companions and then humiliated and beaten up outside of school. ..... it continues here

-) I redeem of my life (-

... thank you for your lovely reply, believe me, I was waiting eagerly and with a hint of anxiety for your comments. I am not a punctual person, this may be a defect, but can also be a virtue, that of not following a fixed life style but one that can be shared without creating false expectations or broken promises. I should have been born at the turn of the last century when the milder tempo was linked with the pace of horse-drawn buggies or the solar cycle; nowadays it's a race to get everything immediately, no, this isn't the best way to enjoy life if it's worth living.
In any case the reason for my failure or slowness in answering is undoubtedly due to destiny which always manages to put itself between me and my wishes, creating a sort of temporary barrier which gives me time to reflect, as though protecting me from possible hasty decisions. For example, if I make a romantic or simply sexual engagement, there arises some sudden necessity, a work problem after maybe months of quiet, the computer breaks down, the cam goes crazy, my cell phone blocked or I miss a plane due to traffic, etc. According to everyone this is only bad luck. Boo! What superficial narrow-minded people, without faces, without thoughts.
I'm instead a fatalist and so I think that it's my guardian angel, do you believe in angels, my friend?
In fact I'm sunny and positive and my glass is always half full ! ..... it continues here

-) a world beyond thought (-

... I don't like to hear the telephone ring, that sound even if sweetened by a pleasant melody makes my heart jump whenever it suddenly rings, breaking the silence of my life, just a few moments that cause me to wonder anxiously “who knows it might be someone who wants me or else some bad news, or maybe a new job, a friend? But no, it's surely just a bother”.
It's certainly not my lover, unfortunately I haven't any lover to make me hope for a gentle thought!
So I look at the display to find comfort in a smile, a friendly name, but alas no name appears, no reassuring sign, surely it must be some stranger who has decided to disturb me, but who could it be, and what does he want from me? My curiosity is strong and wants to overcome my good sense. I feel somewhat uncomfortable and decide not to answer, but it keeps on ringing incessantly , why should I respond, I think, but it doesn't stop, and so what can be done? By now the quiet of this sunny warm afternoon has gone, I decide that's it's best to disconnect the phone and return to enjoying the sunshine that these fresh spring days can bring a little egoism never hurt anyone. ..... it continues here

-) an oasis of salvation (-

... since my youth I've always been attracted to photography, and have considered the printed image to be a very complete means of communication, full of information and capable of transmitting indelible messages, that are able to reach everyone, in the deepest recesses of their souls. After a period of study, I decided to take it up seriously. I began as a dilettante to make some photo reportage, but even though I worked very hard and I studied the best photographers, I remained a very bad photographer myself. I criticized my own work and was aware of my lack of sensitivity in capturing that part of an image, or that detail, which could best describe, in simple synthesis, a subject or an event at the moment of its happening. However, I wasn't concerned with my inexperience and I thought that only by studying and constantly applying myself, I would acquire, along the way, the ability to capture an emotion instantly and fix it on film. ..... it continues here